contemplations of Cambodia interrupted by a rainbow

It was strange, meandering around the killing fields and S21 Torture prison in Phnom Pehn, Cambodia. I did not want to go yesterday because I felt I needed to mentally prepare, much like when I went to the Holocaust museum years back. But today, we went, and we experienced, or rather witnessed, the location of such atrocities, and I felt a bit disconnected. That is not to say I felt nothing, for I was quite disheartened and again, my cynicism of the general human race, (or rather was utterly shocked of its capability of inhumanity), came back full force. But the fields were not as they were, and I'm afraid you may take this the wrong way when I say I would have rather had the fields be maintained in their original state. But instead, the original buildings were torn down, tourist facilities took their place, and school children squealed and cheered with delight next door. This is quite different, one doesn't have to imagine too hard, from the moans and screams of terror and torture that resonated only a few years back. Even a sign nailed to a towering and twisted tree stating it was the location where children and babies were held by their feet and killed by having their heads smashed against its trunk did not stir too much emotion in me, save for a disbelief that humans were still capable of doing such things to other humans. But, perhaps, that is just what led to such disconnect; simply because, how Could you imagine such things truly happened? How could a sane person imagine this happening?? That is not to say I don't believe, because it is so glaringly obvious it did, a truth even visible in the streets of PP. I have met people young and old who have been effected by the actions of the Khmer Rouge and heard their stories. I have already seen how the country fell under their regime and is still trying to get back on its feet. Perhaps I just wasn't mentally prepared, but then again, how could you be?