Ode to an update - I have been at site for a bit over two weeks now. Not that I’m going to tell you precisely where that IS, per say...not because I don’t want to...but mostly because I can’t...Peace Corps safety 101!!! Though I CAN tell you that I am in the Udon Thani jang wat (province). I wish I could report that I have been conversing in nothing but Thai and have been illimitably ameliorating on my vernacular skills...yet I simply cannot lie. My co-teacher, whom I have been residing with up until yesterday, speaks reasonably respectable English. At least, well enough to not speak Thai all the time. In the two weeks that I have been here, I’ve experienced things that I ne’er believed I would live through. My second to fifth day was occupied by celebrating Songkran...which is the Thai...or Buddhist...new years (orbiting around, I believe, either the birth or death of the Buddha). It must be said that Songkran is pretty much a big effing waterfight, given that it takes place during the hottest time of the year...the waterfight being a superfluous facet of the actual holiday...it’s like getting presents during Channukah. ANYWAY...it would’ve been entirely pleasurable if they hadn’t put ice in the damn water...and then pouring it all over me. Which, of COURSE (you would know if you know me well enough) ensued in me getting SICK sick sick for the second and third day. But, one of those experiences I thought I’d never had is that I got into a HUGE water fight with a caboodle of monks. You think they just sit around and meditate all day? Oh dear me, no...they most definitely take those plastic varicolored water guns of theirs and F@#k you uuup!!! They just wait there, by the gates of the Wat (temple), and jump out at you when you least anticipate it...which is pretty much all the time. Who really expects to get jumped by monks with water guns? Certainly not I. Between that time and the time of which I have moved into my own home, I have visited Udon Thani, the big city in these sticks, which is simply infested with old (and I use the definition ‘old’ comparatively) farang (foreigner...or in literal terms, french – though that is not in which terms I am using the word) men, who come to Thailand with the sole purpose of obtaining a young Thai wife. Annnndddd^#&%$...... hold while I run away from a bee which has infiltrated my ROOM!!! hold on..........
Conversation between me and bee:
“This is the fate you have chosen?”
“Bbbbzzzzzzzzzzz”
“You do realize the consequences of your actions, correct?”
“Bbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzmwaaahaha”
“Right, well, then. Recognize that today is the day you will perish from this mortal life”
“bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........”
If you must know, I am bored in my home all alone.....hence the ACTUAL convo I had with the now deceased bee.
Ok! Sorry...I will post more later I promise! But I now must go to a birthday party of my co teachers nephew! But I now have internet at home...so expect more words soon!!
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